When will you have to?

Personal goals
Meet with the everlasting darkness
Which remains in your heart
Even after all these years

Seaching for a monthers love
And fathers acceptance
Downs your emotions
In a bottle of and old whiskey
That tastes as bitter as your life

Looking back how you lived
And how you live
It might be different, yet...
The shadows will never stop haunting you

And then at night time
Memories come flashing back
Like a wave of cunami
Ending in a sleepless night

Once faced with the truth
You understand that only you
Had a problem
And a sorry will never come
Cause there never was anything wrong

That causes your heart
To go numb
And all your life
Your looking
Over your shoulder with a question
When I have to run again?